Flying With Angel Wings - The Path to Myself
On of my most intense encounter with angels I had 1987 when I was ill and had high temperature. One early afternoon, the fever was highest, an angel appeared at my bedside. An overwhelming being of light, its grace and beauty beyond any description and humanity, surrounded by light that was radiating out of its center - reminding wings. This being was in no way cute or merciful. The angel was radiating a reality fascinating and adamant, the merciless power of a natural-force. "Do not fear!" - I did not heard this sentence. Although I did not piss into my pants because I was too weak to do anything I felt deep respect and also a deeper relation to this angel.
During a walk in the night in the year 1992 a friend of mine saw wings spreading out of my back, severl meters high. I myself felt only a strange sensation on my shoulders, a familiar prickling. I memorized the desctiption of him and after the short break we continued our walk - I thought that my poweranimal Condor would be the responsible part of the whole thing.
Some years later, it must have been around 1994 or later, the term "angel" was mentioned in relation to me the first time. Three of my friends were witnessing a shamanic shapeshifting of me. I could not see what they had seen but their feedback was quite clear. They were deeply impressed and moved by the things they saw with their own eyes. One described that he saw an angel sitting where I have sat, a light being with wings of light. Because I am sometimes a real blockhead I did not pay more then necessary attention to this incident. An explanation I did not have at hands at first. Later I remembered it, when I did the following action:
1998 or 1999 - I do not remember the exact date - I had to shamanize a client. The spirits told me that I have to invoke myself in order to deal with the situation properly. I had to extract the soul of a moon-child from a womb. A moonchild is a hybrid soul between a human and a god. Aleister Crowley decribed it in his "Moonchild". What my assistent saw during the session which she accompanied with drumming was obviously intense. She also described that instead of my physical appearance a being of light did the extraction. She was unable to have a direct look because she was dazzled by the intense light. She hid behind her drum. Later on both did not remember anything anymore. This happens frequently, by the ways. After some time many witnesses forget about what they saw - I realized that in several incidents, not all of them connected with me but other uncommon, sometimes bizarre events. I blame the Bergson-blockade for this.
Some more incidents like the ones I mentioned and I began to question my former point of view. Something was wrong and totally different to the ideas I had on myself. In the year 2000 I finally began to research after I had the first photographies in my hands, showing me as Condor-Dancer. Still I am seeing no Condor-Dancer in some of them, but an angel. I never paid any attention to the question on how angels got their wings in the well-known paintings and modern representations.
Once things came into motion ... - 2003 I awoke and realized that I am a dragon living in a human body. This awakening was induced by a RV-project which had myself as a target. I could resolve many questions that popped up since I am involved into magics since the beginning of the eightees. Since 1979 I am aware of an silvery-white asiatic dragon that accompanies me. This dragon never appears in shamanic journeys but only in this reality, when I am focussing my attention to the twilight-aspect of it. In another RV-project I viewed my own Holy Guardian Angel and scetched this asiatic dragon.
It took me several more sessions and much time to accept the fact that I am a heavenly dragon living in a human body and not only having one as a guardian angel. Several months I had to re-collect myself because the awakening came upon my instantly and without premonition. My self-image crumbled to dust within some minutes as I realized that thirty years I was thinking that I was a human.
Some years later I realized that the light-workers and angel-fans have a total different idea on angels then I was already suspecting. The dragons of heaven (and only them) and a certain choir of angels, the Seraphim, are synonymous because it is in the eye of the observer to see me either as a dragon or as a hybrid between human and bird or as an energetic being of light, an outright angel.
The deeds the asiatic dragons and the angels have are very similar. Here in Europe it is said that an angel resides within each drop of water - you can find analog tales in china where a dragon is said to live within each drop of water. The angels of countryside of geomantic lore are in direct analogy to the feng-shui dragons. In both cultures you can find hierarchies with special jobs for each part of the hierarchy. Today Chinese dragons are not painted with wings, usually - but old images reveals their wings quite frequently - as in some modern tatoos.
Dragons are the bringer of culture - as the angel were in the bible with the difference that those angels were condemned and demonized. Of course there are also some differences between the western angels and the eastern dragons. The asiatic dragons are frequently associated with water - although not all dragons are associated with it, the heavenly dragon is associated with the sun. The chinese dragons are also master of shapeshifting. This ability is one that they share with the angels because they appear to humans like the image the humans have of them. It serves as a kind of identifier.
In 2007 I was realizing that in the bible - and not in christianity - some clear and obivous hints on dragons and angels are mentioned. I learned how my kind is named in hebrew mythology. The more worrisome part of it was that I was obviously not meeting the clichées that are circling among the light-workers on angels and in particular on the Seraphim, of which I am an incarnated one.
I have to emphasize that the whole thing does not imply that all angels are dragons and vice versa. Frequently readers think that after reading my articles. So some readers are unable to grip the message and the informations properly - but this seems to be an increasing problem. Even if you think this unnecessary because you are indeed getting it right I have to mention it here.
Within my daily life manifest countless synchronicities. The material reality is an important part of my activities right now and the Human Time-Space-Illusion offers me many opportunities I do not have when being without a physical body. I am a kind of spiritual-development-aid-worker. My website and publication activites are but a small part of my acitivities, but an important one. One typical characteristic of angels are their determined mindset when doing their job. Angels fullfill their call merciless - the best example is the Angel of Death who does come to any living being sometimes in its future. You can compare an angel with a kind of controlled missile hitting its target. Try to behave accordingly, keeping that in mind, when meeting angels - be they incarnated or not.
My human mind does not know the whole story and only can cope it in small parts, served over years. My "Total Self" I cannot experience in total within my human body. I have to leave it in order to do so. This Self I compare with a vast, light ocean consisting of structured light and energy, borderless and incomprehensible to the human mind. From its point of view this human incarnation appears like a dark, gloomy little isle, drifting around on this vast ocean of beingness.